“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go”
– Green day, Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
I guess after my last blog, this was the inevitable choice to make – leaving DK. Flight has been booked, paid for and is ready to take me away to a new chapter of life, in Holland – on Friday 10th May.
I guess life is too short to start hating it, and that is what I have been doing for a while now. Sorry, things didn’t work out differently but I think 3 years is time to call it.
Did I give it my best shot? Could I have done anything better?
Sadly, most of us are our own worst critics and I have to say – I think I could have been more prepared, tried harder and learnt more. However, it is difficult to improve on a situation which sometimes seems insurmountable. When you try, get knocked down and the cycle repeats endlessly – then doing one’s best can lack the same sense of drive/motivation you once had.
What am I leaving behind?
I guess the nicest (broken hearted), Danish guy I ever knew… The best fellow ex-pat friend you could have wished for… And some good people I’ve met during my time here… This has made the tough call a very difficult one.
Have I thought this all through?
Yes! The lack of work/career/prospects were the biggest cause of so much stress, depression and self loathing. Without a reason to get up and do something to be proud of, I am nothing – just a number in the Danish system. A number who has no voice, no significance. There are obviously many other reasons, which impact the decision – but they fade in comparison.
What will I do?
I have been offered a fantastic chance to try and rebuild my life in Holland – and accepted the invitation to give it a shot, rather than run (with my tail between my legs) ‘back home’ to England. I know I will be kindly welcome back ‘home’ but I’d just prefer to explore options and take a giant ‘leap of faith’ with the Dutch. This may be a surprise to most and some may think I’m crazy. But, I think that I owe it to myself to at least try and go for a chance of happiness there, than wonder about the ‘what if’s….’.
I don’t think this is a surprise to many people at all and has been on the cards for a while now. I see no more point to dwell on the negative stuff too much. To be fair, I have had some good times too. I take away some experience and knowledge about Denmark, and at least I have some insight and a lot of memories (good and bad). Hopefully, I have also made some friends here who will also stay in touch and see me in another time/place again…